I’m feeling really unsettled at the moment, actually I’ve been feeling this way for a while…that pull to be closer to family is really tugging on my heart. I realised just the other day that it is going on five years…FIVE YEARS since our older children have seen their Aunties, Uncles and cousins {on my side} and three years since they saw my parents. It’s been even longer since I have seen some of my nieces and nephews due to circumstances and situations beyond my control. Coming from a life where my family were an integral part of our lives whom we saw on an almost daily basis this just feels so foreign and has been ever so slowly eating away at me. The thing is, we did know what we were getting ourselves into making such a distant move away but I guess I was never really prepared for just how hard it would be or how guilty I would feel for taking our children away from their roots.
I love Perth, I really do and I have met some truly amazing people here but if I am honest, I have never given it my heart completely. I have been living with one foot here and one foot elsewhere in the hopes that we would eventually move again to be closer to family. For now though…here is where we will stay. For how long…I just don’t know and it’s the not knowing that I find hard to deal with. What I have come to realise is that to be happy here and live a fulfilled life I need to find it in my heart to be content with where we are currently at and to let myself bloom where I am planted. For too long now I have been just idling along on cruise control, fearful of letting down roots. It’s time for me to stop thinking about ‘what if’ and ‘when’ and just enjoy the here and now, which today just so happens to be our beautiful beaches.
Tell me...are you content or do you feel a little unsettled too?
Tammi x
17 comments:
My children are Aussies through and through and of course don't feel unsettled. Throughout the years I have had years that are worse that way than others, now I am content but I have been here for nearly thirty six years. There are still times when I talk to my sister and parents in NZ and miss being with them and being able to see them regularly. Being the first generation away is hard, for our kids, not so hard. I hope you feel better soon, maybe Christmas has been more unsettling for you too?
Oh tammi, I could have written this...five years into our Aussie adventure and I am still finding my feet in one place, my heart in another. Hugs beautiful lady x
Tammi I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. My family are a good two hours away and all very close, seeing each other very regularly, and I find that hard enough. Im sure your heart will always truly belong to your home, but I do hope you find contentment here for as long as it is you stay..x
I'm feeling extremely unsettled at the moment. For different reasons then yourself. I've been living in this town for my whole life. Born & Bred Here! And my feet are itching for new surrounds and adventures. A different type of community!! I think the whole not knowing bit causes the unsettling though. BRING ON CONTENTMENT I SAY!!
Mwa
When I was younger I moved a few hours away from my family, and loved where I was but didn't really let myself plant roots - knowing that soon enough I would be back. I wish I had have given it a real go though. I hope you feel settled with whatever you choose soon. Enjoy those beautiful beaches xx
that unsettling feeling is well known in this house too Tammi although this year, with a move to the country and closer to family we can feel that tension slowly releasing. Loving where you live but also being content with it are huge factors for a happy contented life. Wishing you all the peace in the world xx
What a horrible feeling, Tammi. I have felt that many times in my life. Right now I'm feeling the most settled I've ever felt as we make a new home and put down our roots. It really helps me to have my family close by. A dear friend of mine has just had to say goodbye to her sister and nephews after they spent a month back here in oz. She married a New Zealander and has lived over there for years now. She desperately wants to come back, epsecially now she has little kids, but her husband doesn't want to leave his family. Such difficult decisions we all have to make.
I wish I could get all of your family, bundle them up and bring them to Perth to live. That would solve everything.
Thinking of you in these really tricky times of home sickness and longing to be close to family. This time of year makes it all the more tricky, don't you think?
Big hugs to you and sorry for taking up so much of your commenting space:) xx
You know I'm also unsettled. But I'm trying my hardest to be content with the life we have here. Because it's a good one. It's so hard to balance the needs of your immediate family for the wants & needs of the extended family.
I've found that going to work has really helped. It has given me a purpose and self satisfaction.
Do you think there is anything you can think of which will give you contentment to take your mind off the bigger picture for a while?
Such a difficult thing Tammi, as a woman to really settle somewhere your family isn't. It must be hard for you not to see your kids playing with their cousins and grandparents regularly. I never really thought about how my mum must have felt with us growing up in NZ while ALL hers and Dad's family were/are in tasmania.
Funny though, I resisted being around my family for a long time after we had our first child, fiercely independent am i! (we shifted to cairns for 2 years) And now my kids play with their cousins and both sets of grandparents weekly and I so often take it for granted....
I hope your nagging feeling of not quite being settled eases this year as much as I trust my wish to escape will eventually disappear. :) x
Difficult one Tammi....personally I don't know if I am settled and contented, it's difficult to quantify. Somedays I'm happy with my lot then other days I think what if, if only, I wish I had, I wish I hadn't...the ups and downs of life I guess. I think we all go through these periods and wonder. You'll work it out my friend. Vic x
not content. we are kiwis living in melbourne for 12 years, we have a house here and both our boys have been born here but we talk about going home every week, glad its not just us but I feel for you because I know that feeling and living with it is not easy. I feel torn. x
I'm sorry to hear your feeling unsettled - it must be hard being far from much loved family.
I've been feeling unsettled, mostly with my 'work' though. I'm just starting out and sometimes get too far ahead of myself and then all over the place.
I hope you have some contentment soon :)
I know what you mean Tammi. I lived 9-10 hours away from my family at one stage due to work and I was single. It was so hard. I have gradually moved closer to my family again and I now live in the same street as them. At times they annoy me, but I am happier being close again. We are all in different situations though, so I think it's a matter of making the best decision for everyone at the particular time. Wishing you all the best where ever you are. ((((((hugs))))))) xxoo
Yeah, and do you find it really hard to Blog when your Unsettled!!! (hence my absence of late) My move has shaken my world so much, I am ALWAYS homesick... I have my good days and bad days but Hubby is really happy here (closer to his family as well). Unfortunately we can't have everything can we!!! :( I keep thinking I'll get over it when we eventually buy and settle in to a new home but really, I know my heart will always yearn to be closer to my family and always wish my children could grow up with their cousins as I did. I really feel your words Tammi, I do...I'm sending you a big hug. I hope you get to see some of your family again soon.
Life throws so much at us, who knows what lies ahead?
But chin up, soldier on,enjoy your here and now and continue finding beauty and Joy in everyday.(I stole that phrase from Mrs Moo) :)
all the best,
Karen xo
I relate to this feeling Tammi as we left our family to be here in Tasmania. It was hard at first, because we came here entirely by choice because we love it, but it feels "wrong" to not want to be close to our family. Our family live all over the place though. We tried living in Sydney where some of our family live but hated Sydney even though we could see them a bit more often. Not much more often though. We have come to the point where we have a wonderful time when we see our families but are very happy to not be living in a huge city. I miss my sister the most and my nephews and really wish we lived closer. I think your situation is tougher as you want to be closer to family and would actually be happy to live where they are. Hope you feel settled soon and hope it helps to know that others feel the same. Take care. Mel x
Oh Tammi. I know this feeling well! In fact at the beginning of last year, I didn't fill in my calendar for fear of us moving again. It's been 5 years since we moved to Melbourne, and while I love it, it's the longest place I've ever lived in my whole life! So, I get all itchy feet every now and then. But wanting to be closer to family, perhaps this started when you went home to visit? If you're in doubt, perhaps it's helpful to talk this over with your love and ask why you moved to Perth, and go through it again. See if the reasons are still relevant for you. See if things haven't changed between the two of you. And then once you've spoken, perhaps you should invite your children to be part of the conversation too. If you need to move back home, then now is the time to do it. Your children are growing up and becoming independent. If you leave later, part of your heart may remain in the form of your children wanting to stay.
Oh, my heart breaks for you, because it's hard if you don't feel settled. Hugs as you sort this one out. It may take a while... xxx
I moved from Victoria to Queensland 25 years ago when my kids were 8,6 and 10 weeks old. Istill miss 'home' and still consider myself a Victorian. Now ALL my children have moved away, one in Canberra, one in the Hunter Valley and the youngest one in Canada!!! This is hard enough but my two eldest have children of their own now and the wrench of only seeing my grandsons a few times a year is at times unbearable. It wasn't until I became a Nanna that I realized that I had completely broken my mothers heart when I took her three grandchildren away. I shall regret this for the rest of my life. But I do not regret moving away, it was the best move for us as a family and I believe my kids are the wonderful, happy, successful people they are today because of the move. Unfortunately my children have grown up with no connection to family, unlike me who saw my Aunts, Uncles, cousins and Grandparents on an almost weeekly basis. So now 25 years later I am moving back to Victoria to be near my aging parents. life is coming full circle.
Michelle.
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